Where am i at the moment?

Might as well do an article about me for once, haha. Basically, the thing is...i think i probably had the best year in my life so far, like i mean, it feels that i finally tried to enjoy myself on the social front in my eyes. This is because that i feel that my parents didn't really give me much freedom or room to manovere, so, in one respect i feel that i have been malnourished on that front, but then again, could i blame them for all the hell and pain that had happened to me in the past? Meh, i dunno to be honest, all the ifs and buts of life, its all quite elementary and will balance itself out in the end haha.
I think that in the University front, i think that i sorta winged the first year, as in, i really started brightly because i want to get the ground off running. However, i sort of, admittedly, tried to "find myself" in a social life alot, because i felt despite me being 19 and all, i felt that my mind was quite mono in that i tried to focus on 1 thing at life (and thats a silly card game haha) rather than seeing the better virtues in life.
Alright, so, i sorta contradicted myself blaming my parents for me not having a social life, and myself in a way as well, haha. Well, i feel that i mostly blame myself because of the fact that there was once when like i felt really alienated from society, in that i did not really trust anyone anymore (cries) but, alas, we learn from it i suppose...
MY aim is now to work hard in my 2nd year in uni, get the best i can, hang out more with the new friends i have made, and the old ones too, and well, as many friends i hold close to my heart really hehe. But i think, one of the most important things i want to aim for, is to find someone that loves me. I just feel it is the case because, well, not that i am desperete or anything like that, but in all honesty, none of my previous relationships had any substance nor any of the girls liked me for who i am. It either ended with them just saying "I never really liked you", or "I don't want to see you again!" So, well, i have feelings for someone, but, i feel that its best not to say...Because, well, now is not the time...

Peace out!